A lot of interesting new observations as we wrap up filming…trying to get the last remaining bits of potential out of our documentary subjects, without actually demanding that they do anything.  It can be a tricky thing!

This week, we learned a great deal about how important encouragement can be to our mindset, and our ability to stay on course…or to stay motivated.  Again, as most of what I write here falls within the category of “common sense” – I often have to remind myself of these things and how important they are.

No matter what we are trying to accomplish, doing something really great takes a lot of hard work — sometimes for an extended amount of time.  Day in, day out, we try to eat the right things, exercise, and while we may find a lot of personal satisfaction in doing things right, we ALL need to have some sort of confirmation that what we are doing is worthwhile (or at least the majority of us).

What we have found, is that it is critically important to revitalize our motivation periodically, and this often comes in the form of positive and sincere encouragement from others.  If we’ve worked hard to achieve something, like fit into a new size of clothing, and a friend or spouse says, “just a little bit more and you will fit into a smaller size” – we can take this to mean we haven’t done a great thing…yet.  So in many ways, we must all pay attention to our ability to propel someone forward, or to pull them down.

The difference between providing encouragement that involves constructive criticism and encouragement that is pure and simple, is sometimes very subtle, but it can make all the difference.  For example:

“It’s great you fit into a size 6, you should definitely be able to get to a size 4!”

and

“I am so proud of you for reaching such a great goal.  Let’s celebrate by going shopping!”

Even though our intentions with both are positive, and meant to be encouraging, we have seen a profound difference in the impact on a person’s motivation to keep going.  It has something to do with our own feeling of being in control of our own goals, and if we feel like someone else has set goals for us, that we may rebel against these, even if they are in line with our own goals.

So even though we agree with what a person is saying to us, we may not like the fact that a new goal is imposed upon us without our consent.  This often depends on who is saying it, since a mentor who we look for very critical feedback might push us no matter what we do.  A spouse or friend however, we do not expect such judgement at times.

In the end, we cannot control what is said to us – so the best we can do is to realize how the words we choose impact the motivation of others to keep going harder than ever, or to lose motivation all together.  So encourage someone today, and you can more difference than you think.

The universal nature of this idea is evident in our own journey to create this film.  When a friend tells us they are so proud of what we are doing, or when a stranger sends us an email of encouragement, it re-energizes us, and propels us to work harder, which is a pretty basic, yet amazing part of life.

What we say matters.